Chapter Eight

Happy Thanksgiving.

This year thanksgiving is different. But one thing is the same, and that's what I am grateful for. I am so glad to be on the earth at this time and have the experiences I have had, am having, and will have. I'm a lucky girl to be here. I have so many opportunities to do so much in my life. Now to truly show how grateful I am, I should grasp more at those opportunities.

I am grateful for all the people in my life and I wish I could just tell you about each and every one of them, but that would take pages and take forever. So maybe I will just mention a few.

My friends really know me. I am still hidden, but they know enough to know what to say to make me smile. They know when I am feeling down and they say they care about me, miss me, and even love me. Simple words that mean the world to me. Sometimes I wish I could tell them how I feel. The sad thing is that I can, but I don't. So I thank all of my friends who have been there when I cry, act stupid, or just when I need someone to hang out with. Those people know who they are. They are my true friends.

One person who has really made a difference in my life is my brother. He has really inspired me to be better. I will admit that when we were younger (pre-mission brother) I felt like such a good person. Not all the time of course, but I thought I was so strong. Now that my brother is back from his mission and now that he is back in my life so much more, I can see so many of my faults. I never realized how "bad" I am. He's really helping me to be a better person and to be so much stronger in so many ways. I don't think he knows any of this and it's hard for me to express my feelings to anyone in my family. I feel too weak and I don't want them worrying about me, but sometimes I really just need my family to be there. They are always there, but I don't always let them in my life. It's something I really want to work on because when I do let them in, I see so much more and realize I have so much more support to make me stronger. Unfortunately I am a proud person and super stubborn. We all have our weaknesses.

There are others who of course have made an immense effect on my life. My best friends. No matter what, they like me for who I am! And that's not something easy. We don't argue, but we see each other for who we are and accept it. We understand each other, forgive each other, and most importantly, we are honest with each other. I really do miss them.

There is so much more I could say. A day of thanks. We all need to remember to thank everyone a little more each day. To serve and thank. It's such a simple task, and yet so many people forget about it. Always say thank you.

A thank you goes a long way. Those who have thanked me have really made me feel like I did something of worth. Sincere thanks.

I know that I obviously need to work on thanking more and showing how I feel, and I know that. I am willing to admit my weakness and that's what is putting me closer to the right path.

No many how many tears, hard times, heart breaks, and frustrations, I am happy because I know that God gave me this life and He trusts me. How can I not be grateful for something so amazing as a life like this?!

Chapter Seven

What a week.

I had some ups and some downs, but overall, this week was one of the more interesting weeks of my life. I started off great.

Monday I ran my very first 10K and what a great feeling I had when I finished. It was such a thrill and I felt like I had actually accomplished something. My time was awesome for me. I felt good and just couldn't help but smile all day. Awesome.

Tuesday I was able to attend the temple here in Boston for the first time. I was so excited and felt so much peace, which is exactly what I needed.

Wednesday I don't really remember, but I didn't have the best day. This is when the downhill began. I got back a midterm and I wasn't so happy about it. It happens though.

Thursday I forgot to buy a ticket to an event I really didn't want to miss. It's alright though. Postsecret came to BU and I was SO excited. Of course I didn't use my brain, but that's okay. I didn't mind in the end because I just need to have a positive attitude about life, especially when there is nothing I can do about it.

Friday was yet another blah day. I got through it, but I wasn't exactly happy and I am not afraid to admit that.

Saturday, today, is possibly when it really hit me. I went to the food pantry to volunteer and I got to bag some food. Then, I got to see all the people come in to get their monthly food supply for their family. There were times I wanted to cry because I realized how lucky I am. These people survive off of the minimum and live paycheck to paycheck, or have no income at all. Not only that, but these people, some of them, still had a smile on their face. I sit and complain about all my problems and I cry about life, but then I look at these people who have it so much harder. My problems are nothing compared to theirs. I am so grateful that I am able to attend college and have a home and food. I don't have to worry about not eating one day. It was a very humbling experience. I realized that people who have little to nothing still survive. It's all going to be okay and everything will work out. All we have to do, is stay strong.

So this week was interesting. I will admit that I cried a lot. I had times when I just broke down. One day I held in my tears so much and finally got to my dorm and just cried. I don't like people to see me cry and I hate feeling weak. Now you know.

We are all weak and we all fall down sometimes, but we can all get through it. There is hope. I feel bad it took so long to realize some things and that I had to see the lows of the world to see how lucky I am. It's time to stop being selfish and time to live the life I was given. Such a gift!

So the next time we decide to complain about some problem, go do some service. Through serving others and forgetting ourselves, we can see so much more about our own lives and ultimately find happiness.

Chapter Six

Reaching Goals.

We all have goals to reach at some point in our lives. My goals sometimes seem so out of reach. I tend to shoot for the stars. That's just who I am. But sometimes, I need to set little goals that are more practical. Maybe then I will actually reach something. Because through the small accomplishments, I am able to reach higher things. It makes sense in the end.

Today I failed. One day supposedly can't ruin everything, but in my case, I feel like it can. I went backwards today and now I have to start back up again. Geez. The month of September was hard at times for me, but I reached my goal in the end, and that made all the difference. Now it is October and I didn't start it off right. I am sick of saying "tomorrow I will do this, tomorrow I will start that". It's irritating and I am ready to just start now. But, as always, I make mistakes just like everyone else in this world.

I want to come back home for winter break feeling better. To have people look at me and know that I changed in a good way. I want to smile more and not have issues with myself. I mean, come on! Who wouldn't want to be happy?

So it's all about reaching these goals we set for ourselves. The smart ones set realistic goals. The stupid ones (aka Me) set goals that they can't reach and then get bogged down and depressed and end up sinking lower than they were before. Set a simple goal along with those harder goals. It takes time to get to a certain point.

Personally I changed my goal as the month of September went along so that I could reach something realistic. Now, I know what the marker is for the rest of the months. Those will not change, unless I think I can do better. Go higher.

You set a bar and then never set anything below it in order to improve.

So each month set one BIG goal, and then a bunch of little goals. It makes sense, and in the end, you get a lot more done. This is my opinion at least. I am just trying to reach goals like everyone else.

Let's make some goals and work together to better ourselves and other people.

My goal is to drink more water. What's yours?