That being said, it's a new semester here at BU and frankly, I am not ready. I am always ready for a new adventure, but I don't prepare well enough.
I arrived in Boston feeling okay. Nothing horrible, but nothing exciting. I was ready for my classes and I was curious. I wanted to see people, and ultimately see if I would enjoy any of my classes. So far I have had the opportunity to go to three of my four classes. All are.....okay. I am probably only really excited about one. But that only means that I should change my attitude.
So that's that. But today was the first day of classes and well.....after I had gotten back from the gym, showered, gone to the bookstore, and finally arrived back at my dorm.....it all hit me. I am not really sure what "it" is, but it consists of many different things. Here's and idea of "it":
"It" involves less smiling. Unfortunately my mouth doesn't like to curve upward all the time. Rarely actually. This affects my positivity, and ultimately my happiness.
"It" consists of a lot of confusion. There isn't a moment where I don't think about something that just.....confuses me.
"It" can be mistaken for a slump, but I have a feeling it's not. I don't want to hide something in order for it to just jump back out at me at some inconvenient time.
"It" isn't good. There may be that slight good in there somewhere. The good where I learn a lesson, or experience something to help me grow. But all in all.....not good.
And....."It" is probably me.
When I think about that idea, more sense comes to mind. All this complaining and whining and "depression" is all due to one factor: Me. For once, I can look at this selfishly because it really is me. No one else. No one else is to blame.
So when we sit down and feel low and sad, just remember one thing, what is causing you to be this way? We have to define the "it" that just brings us down. And once we conquer "it", we can reach more potential and conquer more obstacles.
Just a thought.
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