Chapter 27: People Who Make Me Smile

After my Zumba class today I wanted to go to CVS to pick up a few things I needed. It's nice to go in the morning because there aren't a lot of people. When I was checking out, the cash register guy was just saying how it's going to be raining all day and asked if I was ready for it. Just simple conversation. I mentioned how I have a midterm today and he was asking me when those are over. Midterms already? One he rang me up and I paid he told me to have a nice day and good luck (I guess for the midterm). It wasn't anything big, but that guy at CVS made me really happy and started my day well. Thank you.

The whole weekend was quite interesting. Well really the whole week. But I have been extremely blessed and even amongst the down feelings, I have felt so much love around me.

My friends here in Boston mean the world to me. I am trying to be a better friend and follow their examples. Even when I am having not the greatest time, they are there for me and still spend time with me. They make me laugh. I even had a friend notice when I wasn't doing so great and they asked me if I were okay. Thank you. They also asked if I wanted to talk about it. That meant a lot to me because it meant that they cared. Thank you.

I was also really blessed because after dinner at the church I decided to take the T home by myself rather than wait and get a ride home. I just wasn't feeling up to it. I got back to my apartment and just felt so blah. Yesterday was so odd. Later in the night though I got many text messages from friends. Two in particular made me smile. I guess I realize that I am doing what's right in my life and really looking for something to lift me up when I am down. The Lord knew what I needed and when I needed it. I just had to have patience. Thank you.

So I guess this chapter is saying that there are many little things in life that can make us smile. More specifically there are people who really care and they will be there for you when you need. And they will surprise you often and help you without even realizing it. So remember to say: Thank You.

Chapter 26: Runaway Girl

I apologize for not writing in a long time. I just haven't sat down and blogged. I have written in my journal though which is a plus. Lately I've been a little down, I'll admit it. Of course I am looking to change this, because who wants to be down all the time? Not me. I decided that I wanted to share a little bit about running. I haven't really been running in awhile. Over winter break I went a couple times outside and it was AMAZING. It makes me really excited for Summer. Now that I am back in Boston I haven't ran outside because it's so cold and in the beginning of the semester it was super icy. That and I guess I am a wimp.

I decided to give myself a challenge this semester. I don't have an exact goal, but I could make it right now I guess. My challenge is the mile challenge. Each Tuesday I time myself for a mile run, and so far.....I am very happy. I started timing myself on Tuesday January 25th in which I had the time 7:23.07. I didn't think that was too bad, but of course I really wanted to get my time down lower. So after each week, I improved. The first week I ran on Thursday as well and knocked off about 7 seconds. It only got better. Today I timed myself and my time is now down to 6:49.31. I am very happy with that time, although it's only one second faster than my time last week. That's okay though. I am improving and I knew I would hit a plateau eventually. I just love running.

Another reason I want to write about running is because a friend of mine read a chapter of my thoughts and discovered that I don't just run for the health aspect of it. It's true. I run a lot from life I guess. And there have been times when I am not very happy so I go for a run. I don't listen to the typical pump up music, but I listen to songs that make me think. Sometimes I don't listen to any music. And the more I think about running, the more I think I need to make sure I run more and more. My life is only getting harder, so why not run to make it a little easier?

And after thinking about running, one day I wrote a song. Well lyrics to a song I guess. I'll share them with you. I might not be the most talented person in a lot of areas, but I try. And I don't really care too much about what people think (I do care a lot though), so I figure why not do the things that make me happy.

I run.

Running (title unknown)

Running from the world I'm living in

Going through a battle that I'm gonna win.

I'm no longer looking back at the past,

But moving forward with a pace so fast.

Everytime I run my thoughts are so clear

Clear in the night and clear in the day.

I know that I no longer want to be here,

So I run, run, run away.

Running from the life I used to know

To go somewhere else to learn and grow,

And when I feel like I don't belong,

I'll keep running until I feel strong.

Everytime I run my thoughts are so clear

Clear in the night and clear in the day.

I know that I no longer want to be here,

So I run, run, run away.

Instead of worrying about what I should have done,

I'm going to RUN.

Chapter 25: Almost Lover

I recently looked back on the chapter I wrote about my voice class. Well.....today I had my final. Yes, the class is over and I sang my final solo for the class. The song I chose was "Almost Lover" by Alison Sudol/A Fine Frenzy. At first I was really excited about my song choice. I really love this song. But as I practiced the song more and sang in front of the class, I became a bit down. I was unsure if I could really pull it off. The key was good for my voice, but I was doubtful. Then as the final came closer, I was worried. I felt like I wasn't ready. Like I wasn't prepared to show the emotion I wanted to for the song.

That changed today.

I performed the song. I didn't mess up. And most of all, I showed emotion. I could feel the song inside of me and that's exactly what I was looking for! My thoughts were focused. I was focused. And I feel like I did alright. I say that now, but we'll see what I really think once I listen to the recording. :/

It's funny how one class can change someone. I used to be really nervous and hiding of my voice. Now I want to sing as much as I can. And if people want to hear me, that's okay. I took a voice class for a reason and if I don't use what I learned, then what was the point?

I find happiness in music. And when I can connect to a song, I automatically smile.

All I can say right now is that when you are hesitant about a class or doing something that makes you break out of your shell, stop. Don't doubt yourself, and go for it. Follow the feeling you have inside. Your heart knows.

Don't let the criticisms of your mind or the negative influences of others get in the way. Because you never know when something that seems small or of no importance is actually just what you needed in life.

Almost Lover

Your fingertips across my skin,

The palm trees swaying in the wind, images.

You sang me Spanish lullabies,

The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick.

Well I'd never want to see you unhappy.

I thought you'd want the same for me.

Goodbye, my almost lover,

Goodbye, my hopeless dream.

I'm trying not to think about you,

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance,

My back is turned on you.

Should have known you'd bring me heartache,

Almost lovers always do.

We walked along a crowded street,

You took my hand and danced with me, images.

And when you left you kissed my lips,

You told me you would never, never forget these images, oh no.

Well I'd never want to see you unhappy.

I thought you'd want the same for me.

Goodbye my almost lover,

Goodbye my hopeless dream.

I'm trying not to think about you,

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance,

My back is turned on you.

Should have known you'd bring me heartache,

Almost lovers always do.

I cannot go to the ocean,

I cannot drive the streets at night.

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind.

So you're gone and I'm haunted,

And I'll bet you are just fine.

Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye my almost lover,

Goodbye my hopeless dream.

I'm trying not to think about you,

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance,

My back is turned on you.

Should have known you'd bring me heartache,

Almost lovers always do.